Will your divorce by calm or stormy?
After practicing family law for many years, I could often tell during an initial meeting with my client if the divorce was going to be relatively tranquil or very traumatic. Every divorce seems to have a life of its own and can have lasting positive or negative effects on the individuals.
It depends on the parties
Many divorces proceed smoothly yet some start off extremely bitter and continue to be toxic to the parties, their friends and families. The factors that most frequently impact the course of a divorce are:
- The personalities of the parties and their ability to communicate with each other
- Whether one or both parties want to be divorced
- The various expectations of the parties as to what they believe they need to move forward.
But you don't have to struggle alone
I will help you work through the various issues while making rational decisions that are important to you and your well-being. I will be there when the seas are rough and will show you the way to a bright and productive future.
Avoid Costly and Stressful Litigation with Mediation
The mediation process is a great alternative to litigating family law issues.
In a litigated divorce case the issues involving the couple separating and their extended family are determined by a judge who may know very little about the family history and the individual needs of the litigants. In mediation, a neutral mediator does not decide the various issues but rather, assists the parties to reach agreements as to those issues that affect them and their family. The result of a successful mediation is a settlement agreement that resolves all issues.
Generally, mediation is completed in one day, therefore, attorney and court costs are kept to a minimum.
Mediation also leads to a faster closure as hearing and trial dates with the court are usually at best, months out on the judge's calendar.
Perhaps the best aspect of mediation is that it reduces conflict and promotes communication between the parties. The result is a more peaceful path for the family going forward.
What is a Parenting Coordinator?
A parenting coordinator, often an attorney with family law experience, serves by agreement of the parties or by appointment by a judge to address the child's needs and the parties' inability to reach agreement on those day to day issues involving their children.
The parenting coordinator:
- Helps parents manage their co-parenting plan
- Improves communications between the parents
- Resolves disputes as they arise
- Serves as a default agreement if parents cannot agree
The primary issue usually involves time sharing with the children. This could include establishing the time each parent spends with the children, setting plans for vacations, holidays and special occasions and determining how the children will be transferred between the parties.
The parenting coordinator may also be involved in decisions affecting school, religion and medical needs of the children. The parenting coordinator will attempt to minimize conflict between the parties while taking into consideration the personalities and needs of the parents as well.
Do you need a divorce coach?
A divorce coach can save you money, time, and stress.
The process of divorce is often confusing and intimidating. It can be difficult to make sound decisions during such an emotional time. Divorce coaching keeps clients focused on the present issues while facilitating effective communications between the parties, their lawyers and the other professionals that are part of the collaborative team. A divorce coach can help you manage your emotions and make sound decisions that will promote a successful settlement agreement.
Coaching also assists the client in co-parenting and adapting to the many changes that will occur throughout the divorce process.
A divorce coach can help anyone considering leaving their marriage, processing a divorce or recovering from divorce. "Divorce" is at best disrupting, confusing, and unsettling. At worst it is emotionally draining, stressful and frightening, and the fear often creates false conceptions and irrational reactions.
As your guide, I offer you support and help you focus the strategies you need to navigate the divorce process. I can assist you in making the decisions that will favorably impact your financial situation and your relationship with your children.
I will serve as a sounding board to help you manage your emotions and determine your needs moving forward. Hiring a divorce coach can save you time, money and energy. I will work with you and your legal counsel to help you prepare a budget, gather necessary documents, and prepare for mediation or litigation. As your divorce coach I will not only help you through the divorce process but, just as important, help you overcome the negative aspects of divorce and leave you with a renewed sense of confidence, self-esteem, and hopeful anticipation of your future.
Divorce Coaching Has Been Recognized by the ABA
Recently the American Bar Association has recognized divorce coaching as a legitimate dispute resolution process stating that:
Divorce coaching is a flexible, goal-oriented process designed to support, motivate, and guide people going through a divorce to help them make the best possible decisions for their future, based on their particular interests, needs, and concerns. Divorce coaches have different professional backgrounds and are selected based on the specific needs of the clients. For example, some divorce coaches are financial planners, mental health professionals, lawyers, or mediators who have experienced dealing with divorcing clients.
How does a divorce coach fit into the collaborative team?
Like all professionals that make up the collaborative team, the divorce coach works under a specific contract with the client. The contract provides that the coach respects the boundaries of the client and the other professionals on the collaborative team, works in the best interest of the client and strictly maintains confidentiality.
The coach represents only one party and works in close collaboration with the client's attorney. The contract contains disclaimers that the coach does not give any legal advice and cannot advise the client as to their legal rights or what the law implies in their case. The client acknowledges that they are responsible for their own mental health and that the coach cannot advise on financial matters or tax issues.
The divorce coach generally bills the client separately and because of minimal overhead costs, usually bills at a significantly lower rate than the other professionals on the team.
Divorce coaches help by:
- Calming the emotional aspects of the divorce
- Assisting the client in gathering information and processing forms as needed
- Helping the client decide what they need rather than what they think they want
- Keeping the client focused on the collaborative process
Generally the sessions between the coach and the client are by phone or other electronic communications. With authorization of the client any of the other members of the collaborative team may be brought into the conference. One of the main benefits of having a coach is the availability of the coach when the client has an immediate issue to be addressed that falls within the coaching expertise.
About Steven Kriegshaber, J.D.
I have 40 years of experience working with divorce clients as a family law attorney, domestic violence prosecutor, and guardian for children.
I am trained and certified in collaborative divorce, arbitration and mediation. In addition, I have served on national committees advocating for children in divorce and have spoken at numerous family law seminars on various aspects of divorce.
My purpose is to navigate clients through the trauma of divorce and help them transition to a better life for themselves and their children.
Certifications
- Certified Divorce Coach®
- Certified Family Law Mediator in Kentucky and Florida
- Certified Family Law Arbitrator - American Academy of Matrimonial Attorneys
Professional Memberships
- Fellow, American Academy of Matrimonial Attorneys
- Kentucky Bar Association
- Kentucky Collaborative Family Law Association
- International Association of Collaborative Professionals
Mediator, Parenting Coordinator, Family Law Consultant, and Divorce Coach
- Serving as a neutral mediator
- Exploring divorce options
- Collaborative process facilitator
- Preparing parties for mediation
- Creating parenting plans
- Gaining clarity for decisions
- Managing emotions and conflict
- Planning for the future